25 rad reasons to be alive

I swear I did something like this on Facebook last month, but it's going around again and I've been tagged in the notorious "25 random things about yourself" note.  Which means that ya'll get to know 25 MORE random things about me.  If you want to.  I have no doubt that I could come up with 25 x 10 things to say about myself, so I'll try to make them good.  

1.  I'm trying to teach my body to acclimate itself to the frigidness that is west Michigan.  This has a two-fold purpose... to help save the planet (by conserving space heater energy) and to not rely so heavily on blankets, hoodies, scarves, gloves and space heaters.  SO my little heater is off, and I'm doing my best to stay defrosted.  Dang it, Nick!  I don't think this experiment will last long.  

2. I just ate an entire box of rice-a-roni.  By myself.  Which I recently found out is full of MSG.  Guh.  That's gross.  

3.  I'm still a vegetarian.  And I still love it.  

4.  I still have a pet guinea pig named Gloria.  She makes me happier than most things in life.  She's a vegetarian too.  

5.  Pears always have been, and always will be my favorite fruit.  I miss grandma's bottled pears.  Store bought canned pears don't even compare. I love pears with cinnamon on them and microwaved.  

6.  When I find a song I like, I listen to it over and over and over so much that I end up getting so sick of it that I can't listen to it for a long time.  This recently happened with the song Human by the Killers.  

7.  I am an MG.  Which means "Missionary's Girlfriend".  LOL. And I will be until April 2, 2010.  Then my BFF will come home from Texas and all will be right with the world again.  Word to all the other MGs!

8.  I, unlike Ashley, LOVE college.  My undergrad flew by in a blur of concerts and practice hours and chamber rehearsals.  I don't know how I stayed sane!  Now I'm in grad school and am trying to find some kind of balance between the concerts, practice hours, and rehearsals and also... social life?  Man, I miss the days when social life meant 15 minute snack breaks outside of the USU practice rooms at 11:30 pm.  Life seemed to be easier when my only friends  and roommates were fellow music majors.  

9.  However, I AM like Ashley in the fact that I sleep with a stuffed animal every night.  Mine is named Buddy.  And he is a bear that has been so loved that he can hardly sit up on his own any more.  Do you think that build-a-bear would re-stuff him for me if I took him in there?  That's what he really needs.  Bear surgery.  

10.  My favorite dessert is creme brule.  Which is probably a lie.  Cause I'm crazy about cherry pie.  Heated up.  With whipped cream from a can on top.  But I also seriously do love creme brule.  

11.  I love getting pedicures.  But it's hard for me to justify a pedicure... in the winter... when I don't even ever take off my socks!  So right now, my toes are home-pedicured.  Which is far less fun.  

12.  It was recently pointed out to me that most of my favorite movies are romantic in some way or another.  Which is true, I guess.  Dang it.  I need to branch out. 

13.  I buy postcards when I go to cool places.  And then I forget to send them to people.  If you want a cool postcard from a random place, send me your address, and I'll mail it right out.

14.  I love love love living so close to Lake Michigan.  Give this girl a beach, a lighthouse, waves and a sunset on a watery horizon, and she's a happy camper.  

15.  I almost just wrote that I wouldn't mind living in Michigan forever.  But then I remembered how COLD I am all of the time, and I reconsidered.  

16.  I watch the TV show The Office.  And I own seasons 1-3.  And I often incorporate office quotes into everyday conversations.  And I appreciate when people catch on to them.  

17.  It's almost become a ritual to take a bubble bath every night before bed. To relax, to stay warm, and to be clean.  

18.  I like Renaissance music.  Especially masses.  Especially masses by Josquin.  I like learning about music history.  A lot.  And I like sharing my tidbits of information with other non-music major friends.  As if they care.  :)

19.  I am a girl who would seriously appreciate a sunroof in my car.  That's probably all I really want in life.  

20.  I confess that I have used cello practice time to take naps in the practice rooms.  Both at USU and at WMU. Music major narcolepsy perhaps? 

21.  I read my horoscope every day on the Yahoo homepage.  And it's usually scarily accurate.  Today it said "Your creativity can get you through anything.  Just pretend you're somewhere else."  Which is exactly what I am doing right this very second.  

22.  I am NOT good at sports involving hitting or catching small balls.  And the smaller the ball, the worse I am!  Seriously... Baseball, tennis, racquetball, badminton, ping-pong... all disasters.  But that doesn't mean I don't have fun trying.  

23.  I enjoy running.  Hey friends from the cheerleader days- remember running around the halls of THS every morning?  And how much I HATED life every morning?  Well, go figure, now I LOVE running.  It's totally my 'think about life and solve my dilemmas' time.  My body craves it. I should really run every day.  

24.  I own various assorted perfumes... Pink, Strawberries and Champaign, Rosewood, J'adore... from my days of working at Victoria's Secret, sweet presents from the NM, and impulsive purchases.  But I hardly ever wear any of them.  Which is strange.  Cause I absolutely LOVE it when guys... and by guys, I mean Nathan, wear good smelling stuff.  Or... spray letters with good smelling stuff these days.  Lacoste?  Aqua DiGio?  Crave?  Black Walnut?  Yes yes yes and yes PLEASE!!  Good gracious, I could go into a olfactory coma just thinking  about it.  :)

and finally...

25.  I'm kind of into temporary tattoos. And I often have one in various locations on myself.  Cause they are fun and painless, and if you get sick of them, you can simply scrub them off.  But I'm not so much into the permanent kind.  Because... well, for many reasons.  

And that's all for now.  Hopefully you learned something new about me, or got a clearer scope of my complete character.  It's been a good realigning week.  Full of practicing and more practicing, like the good little cellist I should be.  I did try a new restaurant with Ishtar, and made fantastic oatmeal coconut butterscotch cookies with Nick.  I went to my first hockey game ever... loved it!  AND I went to a fabulous little concert of a local folk/indie singer named Daisy May who ROCKED MY SOCKS!  Her music was everything and more that I need in life.  Tomorrow is WMU orchestra concert day... finally.  Don Juan, Tchaik Symphony #4 and Ravel's Tzigan.  I'm so ready for this cycle to be over.  Not that I don't love these pieces, I just need them to be out of my life for a while, ya know??  

And then it's February?!  For real?  

Waiting vs. Dating and other such thoughts

Waiting vs. Dating.  This is a topic avidly and frequently discussed by fellow MGs.  

My best friend in the whole world and "boyfriend" (hate that title) of 5ish years is serving a mission for our church in San Antonio Texas since March 2008.  We write letters back and forth, email on Mondays, and get to talk on the phone on Christmas and Mother's Day.  And that's all the contact we get.  For two years.  And I get asked questions about the status of our relationship all the time, mostly from my non-LDS Michigan music friends.  I'm pretty sure some of them think I'm making it all up.  Yeah, my imaginary boyfriend out there in Texas who I never get to see cause it's against church rules.  Others think that the limitations on our relationship are too harsh.  How in the world can a girl ever wait two years on only letters and emails?  How is a relationship supposed to last under such circumstances?  These people think I'll fold and find someone else to occupy my time.  Then a select few of them think missions sound really cool, comparing it in their minds to monks going into isolation.  They view our relationship as some sort of spiritual fairy tale, and we'll come out at the other end all zen- fused and ready for what ever comes next.  

And this is just the non-member view on the matter.  The Mormons have all sorts of other things to say about girls waiting for missionaries.  :) 

I gotta admit, I've had waiting ups and downs within the past 10 months.  At times, I've been a hardcore waiter, making packages and scrapbooking, sending weekly letters, and abstaining from other male companionship.  And I've been fine with that.  It works well for me.  Then other more recent times, I've been a wait/dater. Sending less frequent, less elaborate packages, writing less letters, and ... dating someone.  Which is a less comfortable situation to be in.  It feels nice to have a friend to fill the void left by the absent missionary.  And it's fun to have someone to talk to and hang out with.  Someone wonderful with lots and lots of good qualities.  And of course it's great to have a warm body to be close to.  BUT.  On the other hand, it's HARD.  It's hard to play with those kind of heart strings.  It's hard to open your heart to someone else.  It's hard to think of the possibility of falling in love with someone else.  It's hard to make room for such things.  It's hard to imagine a future life with anyone other than the Morris.  It's hard to share memories... certain songs, movies, dances, looks, phrases... that have been exclusive to the Nathan relationship.  It's hard to have a persistent feeling of leading-on.  It's hard to constantly have the thought of someone else in the back of your mind.  It's not fair to give someone else false hope or unclear intentions.  It's not fair when what you really want is half a country away.  It's not fair when what you think you want is in a state of consistent and rigorous personal development, so who knows what he'll be in 14 months. It's hard to not write as frequently.  It's hard to miss moments of his life.  It's hard to discuss serious matters through letters and emails.  It's hard to edit pieces of my life in letters cause I know he won't want to hear it.  It sucks ( yeah mom, it sucks) to not be as strong as I thought I could be.  It sucks to not get as much sleep as I should.  It sucks to not be doing well at my goals.  But it also sucks to talk about these things. It sucks to back up any sort of relationship.  It sucks to be lonely.  Many things about the situation suck.

So... simplify.  Dating is lame. And I don't think I'm into it anymore.  If you were thinking about asking me out anytime in the near future, don't waste your time.  The answer is no.  My heart is busy elsewhere.  I need to take time and focus on what I really need.  I need to realign and re-find my center.  I need to support my missionary... work on building the relationship that has already been one of the rocks in my life for at least two and a half years.  I need to give it the best chance it can get.  I need to not mess it up.  I need to wait.  

And that is my new found view on wait/dating.  Two thumbs down.  Friends are great.  Fantastic.  And necessary.  But dating is the opposite of those things.  At least in my situation.  And I figured it out mostly as I typed this therapeutic blog.  Thank the heavens for blogs for helping me sort through my tangled brier of tricky thoughts.  

Other thoughts.  I've been in a real country music mood lately, which is curious.  I associate country music with high school and summer time and dancing.  Not with graduate school winters and drama.  But here I am, jamming out to Keith Urban and Rascal Flatts like they were Joshua Radin and Sufjan Stevens.  I'm pretty sure this won't last long.  We'll see.

Also happiest of Birthday wishes to my dear Grandma Beckstrom and also forever pal Zach Ames.  Grandma, thanks for reading my blog!  And canning pears for me my whole life.  And for being an amazing woman for me to look up to and strive to be like.  I LOOOOVE YOU!    Zach, you know how I feel.  I'm glad we live in the same time zone.  Let's drive toward each other, meet up somewhere in Canada, grab a slurpee and catch up! 

Did I mention yet that I am playing in my favorite show of all time... The Last 5 Years... in March?  It's playing in St. Joseph, MI and I got hired to play the amazing cello part.  This is totally a pre-dream come true.  Freak, I love making money doing what I love!  

It's cold in Michigan, but the sun is shining today.  "There is sunshine in my soul!"  For some reason I'm feeling very humbled.  

I updated the Elder Morris blog with three new entries.  Feel free to go read it, if that's your thing.  It sounds like he's doing well.  

I'm celebrating Chinese New Year tonight with the fantastic Artz-Iffland family!  I'm thoroughly looking forward to it.  Can't imagine anyone else I'd rather bring in the year of the Ox with.  I was born in a year of the Ox.  How cool is that?  Happy Chinese New Year, friends and fam.  Tally Ho! 

This is a picture of a girl who...

... doesn't really have time to blog

... loves studying film music

... also loves renaissance music

... is sitting 3rd chair in orchestra

... doesn't work hard enough

... is cold

... is wearing multiple layers of clothing

... thinks snowy Michigan is beautiful

... hates snowy Michigan roads

... loves mail from her missionary

... loves pictures and letters and shirts that smell like him

... spends hours a day playing Strauss, Tchaikovsky, Elgar and Bach

... frequently has  Sufjan Stevens songs in her head

... is learning how to be a grown-up

... is learning lots of things

... is desperately trying to live her goals

... doesn't always know what she wants

... doesn't always know what to do 

... follows her heart

... misses people

... loves you.  Yeah, YOU!

... loves her guinea pig

... needs to finish her laundry

... enjoys breakfast 

... enjoys having missionaries over for dinner

... recently tried beets.  And is not a fan.

... is thinking about it

... is looking forward

... is in progress

... wants to know it all

... is happy

... is strong

... is simplifying

This is Jamilyn.  In her favorite scarf.  January 2009.

Spring Goals

I recently read an article in Real Simple magazine's January "list issue" that said many of the world's best lists have 7 items on them.  So I'm taking their advice and shortening my goal list this semester from the typical 10 down to 7.  Way to start off my year of simplification, right? 

1. Earlier to bed and earlier to rise.  Still striving for health, wealth, and wisdom, so I'm putting this one back on the list.  To be more specific, I'm aiming for sleep from 11:00 pm to 7:00 am.  

2. Exercise daily M-F.  At 7:15 am.  Cause I could use the extra endorphins, and with a scheduled time, I'm WAY more likely to do it.  And Nick says it will help my lymph system too.  Who knew?

3. Get a 4.0.  I'm not giving up on this idea.  And this semester, without any music theory classes, I just might be able to do it.  But I learned my lesson the hard way last semester, and even though I'm striving for 4.0, I still need to put cello studies before academic studies.  Cause really, that's what's gonna get me the job someday.  

4. Practice bare minimum of 4 hours a day.  Every day.  No exceptions.  And track my practice hours. And make goals.  And plan my practice well. This is going to be a productive cello semester, dang it!!  

5. No wasting time online until cello practice and homework is done.  Sweet and simple.

6. Read the scriptures and pray every single day.

7. Reduce drama.  Don't stress.  Be happy.  Find joy.  

Yay Spring semester 2009!  I'm feeling strong and ready.  It's gonna be good!