Elder Morris speaks on Passion

Somehow, even through letters from across the country, my missionary always knows the PERFECT things to say to his girl.

(excerpt from letter on October 14, 2008)

"... Massive props on the perfect card pick out!  What do you wish for at 11:11?  I wish for you to have more happiness.  You sound way depressed.  I hate the idea of my shorty feeling unpassionate!!  I would not date someone who is bland.  You are not a bland person and refuse to accept this as a personality flaw that you have!  One of the things that I love about you the most is your passion.  Your passion for life, music, poetry, art, people, the gospel, :) and me.  (I left out food and sleep.)  You are full of passion!  Don't take Bruce's critiquing too personal.  We know you are a passionate person because of how many people love you in your life.  I love who you are, and your friends love who you are.  Don't be frustrated about music.  Ask for help.  Ask God first, then Bruce.  Don't take his advice personally though, and know that your man always loves you.  I'm so proud of you and all you do!"

Now a quote from my new favorite soundtrack, "The Last 5 Years"-

"Have I mentioned today... how lucky I am... to be in love with you?"

This is what I do!

Finally some pictures!

This is me and my politically passionate pal Desiree watching the Great VP Debate.  We played Palin Bingo and ate debate donuts. Good times.  

This is a pumpkin spice donut.  Deliciousness!  SAD NEWS!  The Kalamazoo Krispy Kreme went out of business on Monday this week.  What am I gonna do for the next debate??

While the snowflakes fell in Salt Lake City, my friends and I were driving to Lake Michigan to spend a beautiful Sunday evening at the beach.

These are my church friends who are also my wonderful neighbors.  We've got Breanna, Jana, AnnaLaura, and Lillian.  And they are standing in beautiful, warm, wave-less Lake Michigan.     

AND a full moon.  

This picture is for my USU music friends.  Check out how HUGE the practice rooms are here!  And there is a piano in every single one.  It's incredible.  For my non-music major friends... music geeks like me LIVE in these rooms.  The accommodations are important!

Aww, cello love self portrait.

This is the freakin awesome cemetery that is a 5 minute jaunt from my house.  Call me morbid, but I LOVE exploring cemeteries.  This graveyard provides me with the only exercise I seem to get these days.

This is an example of the Michigan fall foliage.

 "My my my it's a beautiful world!" -Colin Hey

"This is a tall Jamilyn picture.  Like as tall as the tree. "  - AnnaLaura Feng Shui Artz Iffland

My legs look really... thick.  But I'm wearing rain boots.  

This lovely park is across the street from my street. I love my neighborhood!

Happy Autumn Friends and Fam.  

I love you all!

And miss you most!

About Passion...

So as you know (if you read the last post), I've been doing a lot of thinking about passion lately.  Particularly how to channel my inner passion into my music by channeling it into my daily life.  

Ishtar, my hot Puerto Rican violinist friend, says that all I need to do is think about sex.  Probably not the best idea for me right now, Ishy!  Yikes.  

Pianist friend ashley helped me muster up some strong inner feelings and then after forcing me to play in my emotional state, boosted my ego by telling me I sound like Jackie Du Pre. 

I've been trying to feel emotions stronger, be more happy, get more angry, be more dedicated.  

I guess I didn't realize the negative results this experiment might have on my life.  More depressed?  More lonely?  Extremely homesick for my missionary?  In exploring my suppressed emotions, I've found some very deep ones that in my opinion, are best left alone!   

Yesterday was a dark and dismal day.  Emotional... yes.  Passionate... yes.  Productive practice, and incredible cello sound... yes!!  But seriously, I can't function on such a constant stream of passion and high emotion.  Not like that.  

Thus the need for further self revision:

Earlier to bed and earlier to rise.  I'm seeking health, wealth, wisdom, and BALANCE.  I'm still channeling passion.  But hopefully with healthier sleep habits, I'll have better coping skills.  

I'm wearing my new pumpkin-color sweater and bright yellow rain boots.  I woke up at 7 am with 8 hours of wonderful sleep.  I'm feeling strongly optimistic and ready for a fresh start.  

The Michigan leaves have chosen today as the day to change color.  The world is a beautiful place!  This is something to be passionate about.    

Self Revision

Lack of PASSION.  BLAND BLAND BLAND.  Too much TENSION.  Just SING!  Let GO!  Relax!!

Imagine me playing the Elgar cello concerto with all my might for my cello guru, Prof. Uchimura, and these are the things he's shouting at me the whole time.  I fully acknowledge and accept that these have always been major flaws in my cello playing... lack of passion, blandness, tension, etc. But the more I think about a solution to this problem, the more I think they might be innate character flaws as well.  

Perhaps I'm not really a passionate person.  Maybe I'm even bland.  I'm definitely tense.  I really SHOULD sing more, and learn to let things go.  I seriously need to relax.  

So the same as I spend time in my practice room learning to release the weight of my arm into my cello string, I've decided that I need to practice channeling passion in the more figurative practice room of life.  

And this is my self revision... passion, relaxation, singing!  

Top of the Second Quarter!

Yes it's true.  The first six months of my Elder Morris's mission are over!  I am officially at the top of the second quarter in this waiting game, and I think I'm ahead by at least 12 points.  I don't know what I mean by that.  :)  

In the most recent best letter of my life, Elder Morris sent me his MTC name tag, a SD card full of pictures, and half of an old tie.  It's a missionary tradition to burn a tie on your 6 month mark.  Sweet Elder Morris decided to share half of his tie with me so that we could both celebrate the landmark together.  It was so thoughtful of him to include me!  I love how well he knows me and how much something like that would mean to me.  It absolutely made my day.  

Waiting for a missionary really isn't so bad at all, folks!  I love writing letters, I love getting letters... I am even learning to love scrapbooking.  I appreciate having this time apart.  I know that sounds weird.  But we are both getting the opportunity to "find ourselves" on our own.  We are individually becoming more of who we want to be.  But I love being included in his life, even if he is devoted to serving the Lord on the other side of the country!  

I for sure have my lonely days where I want nothing more than to curl up in his arms and tell him all about my stresses and issues and have him calm me down and help me feel like I can manage it all.  I wouldn't mind going to a concert with him and singing our favorite lyrics at the top of our lungs.  It would sure be nice to have a hand to hold and a good night kiss sometimes.  I'd even go for a phone call now and then.  

BUT then I think about how hard he worked to get out there, and how proud I am for his willingness to serve.  I think about all the lives he is blessing and how much we are both learning from this experience.  I really am happy to be where we both are right now.  And 6 months went by FAST!  Bring on the next 18!!!

Burning of the tie!

This is my friend Breanna and me, dousing the tie in alcohol

The alcohol all burned off but the tie wouldn't light!!

So we made a hobo fire out of Jana's old italian textbook and let it burn!

This is me holding the hot ash remains of what once was the tie.  And also the remains of Jana's italian textbook under my arm.

This is me being a happy MG.  I love these shirts that Torrey had made for us.  And I love my missionary.  And I'm excited for the next year and a half! And everything that comes after that!