Not a Typical Jamilyn Post but...

"Summer in the city,

I'm so lonely lonely lonely,

But don't get me wrong dear,

In general I think I'm doing quite fine,

But when it's summer in this city

and you are long gone from this city,

I start to miss you, baby, sometimes."

-Regina Spektor

I'm not really the type of MG to devote an entire blog post to how much I miss my missionary.  But right now it's on my mind and I feel like telling people about it.  There are several factors that contribute to this magnitude of missing.  1) School is out and I don't have a job yet which means I'm not staying as busy as usual.  Busy-ness= one of my best antidotes for loneliness.  2) I've been doing a lot of mission scrapbooking lately, which is GOOD cause I seriously need to 

catch up, but it also surrounds me with the reminder that he is there and not here, ya know?  3) We recently decided to be 100% obedient on the email rules, so instead of using gmail which is fast and reliable and good for sending pictures, we use myldsmail which is none of those things.  Now email Monday is slightly frustrating.  4) I'm in a phase that I'm calling the 14 month slump.  The excitement of the year mark has worn off, and the remaining ten months seem like an eternity!!  And I'm feeling more than slightly disconnected.  *sigh*

I usually type up excerpts of Nathan's letters for his family and friends to read on his mission blog.  But this last letter was more specifically to me than the general mission info I usually type up.  But I'm gonna type some of it here on  my own blog in case any of the Morris's etc. want to read it.  

May 11, 2009-

" How are ya, buddy?  Man, I wish I could have gotten a response from you this p-day.  It's too bad I had to get off the computers so soon.  I really would have liked to talk longer, but maybe I can bring the topic up again later.  Just have faith in us being strong, both temporally and spiritually.  I hope that once I get home, you won't be so nervous about me and you.  Just know that I would rather go through the hard times together instead of having to do it without you.  

I'm totally chillin in the ZLs apartment.  We just got done watching one of the best baseball games ever.  The Round Rock express just barely won 6-5 in the 9th.  It was a really good one.  It was so hot there.  You should so see my tan now.  My watch tan line is out of control.  "It's the BOM.com" -favorite quote from the phone call.  I've decided that I would be a lot happier of a missionary if I could have a nightly phone call with you.  I guess I will have to do with a weekly letter.  About phone calls... every member of my family told me how awesome you are.  Just thought you should know.  You are dearly loved in my family.  

OH did I tell you that I got to hear little baby Samuel's voice!?  It was the best.  Beckstrom babies rock.  Who's gonna have the next one?  Do you think an Em and Dave would look as cute?  Do Thomas baby girls look as cute as AB babies?  How many more kids will be added?  It's so weird o think about where the family will end up.  :)  

There was a way good talk given on Mothers Day by the wife of the ward mission leader and it made me think of what I wanted for the mother of my children, and it made me think of you.  She said that the three things she thought of when she thinks of her mother are as follows:

1. charity

2. example

3. patience

So the many reasons why this reminded me of you are thus... I have seen your charity grow so much through out our relationship and while I have been serving away from you too.  For example, how you are willing to see Ishtar for the person God loves, not just the way other people do.  That you are so willing to help the missionaries in your branch.  That you prepare lessons and magnify your callings.  That you saw me for who I was and who I could be.  That you even stuck around to help me become better, and that you still continue to strengthen me and lift me and better me every day.

You are an example to me for sure!  And if we were to have kids that turned out exactly like you, I would be so happy.  Your example makes me wanna do better and I know that your children will feel the same way.  I know a lot of people look up to you and they should.  You are a great woman.  You're always trying to be the best you can be.  

Lets talk about patience. First off, waiting for me for two years, not to mention how patient you were with me while I was trying to grow up and while I'm still trying.  You always make sure things are well thought out... such as choosing your husband and what not.  lol.  :)  Also the way you work with little Beckstrom kids.  

All of the above is why I would pick you.  There is a lot more, but this should do for now.  I'm just trying to say... I'm ready when you are.  September 2010 is just a goal to pray for.  I haven't even proposed yet.  I'm not even home yet!!  If you want to make it a target date, or get rid of the date all together, we can do that. 

I love you so much.  I'm so proud of you babe!  

Heart, your "co-captain" Morris"

Mmm-k. so I may feel disconnected and a bazillion years away from when he comes home, and lonely and weary, but I'm still waiting.  Something tells me it's worth it.  

"God be with you till we meet again;
When life’s perils thick confound you;
Put His arms unfailing round you;
God be with you till we meet again."