Thoughts on Tolerance

It's been a while since I blogged. Life is kind of low-key right now, so it won't take long to catch up. We're still working on making our new house feel like home. I had a lovely sewing lesson with my Mom, and then sewed a few curtains. And if you don't look close at the seams, they even look pretty good! 2 windows down... 4 more to go! I feel so domestic! We're also still keeping up on our cute veggie garden. And this week, we made a pumpkin patch. I pulled out weeds the size of small children, and Nathan tilled, furrowed, and planted. When it comes time for jack-o-lantern carving, hopefully we'll be all set. The shelves that we built in the kitchen pulled out of the dry wall, and two of our wedding present tea cups fell off and shattered. Our kitchen looks significantly less cute without our dishes on their shelves. But until we can figure out how to make the shelves not fall down, they have to stay in the pantry. And that's what's going on in our little world.

Also this week, I (as part of my graduate quartet duties) am coaching young chamber music groups for the University of Utah chamber music festival. It's actually tons of fun. I pretend to know exactly what I am talking about, and then try to inspire young musicians to believe in my ideas. And it usually works. :) It's a good boost to my teacher confidence.

Yesterday, at a presentation on how to deal with Performance Anxiety, I heard an interesting adage. If you read me often, you may remember that I declared 2011 as my year to develop tolerance. (Boy, if I had only known what tolerance-challenging experiences would be coming my way...) But when I heard it, even though it was in reference to distractions in performance, it perked up the little tolerance corner of my brain. And I have been thinking about it all day. The adage said "That which we oppose persists; that which we allow dissolves." Hmm. I'm having an internal battle over this one. I really like the sound of that. And the zen-ness of it. There are definitely things that I strongly oppose, but I'm not so sure that they would dissolve with allowance. There are things that I'm simply not willing to allow. But for the most part, I think this might be true. In my quest for greater tolerance, I'm going to let some things go- that's not exactly what I mean. I'm going to try to not let some things get under my skin as much. I'm going to try to control my reaction more than others actions. And maybe instead of persisting, annoyances will dissolve.

Speaking of tolerance, I want to give a shout out of love and sincere gratitude to those who have been particularly tolerant of ME lately. I've been kind of stressed out and moody and needy and ornery. And people who love me have put up with a lot. I'm glad I have people in my life who are willing to love me, and are also willing to tell me when I'm being a brat. I think I'm ready to be a better person now.