Grateful- Election Edition

For these things I am thankful:

I voted for the first time and became part of history.

We are a democracy.

We elected a president who inspires hope

 tolerance

 unity

and change.

If America unites, we can make a difference!

I am proud.

I am excited!

I am inspired.

I am thankful.

Grateful Praise

For the next few weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, I will be blogging a "gratitude list" in an attempt to not completely skip from the celebration of Halloween to Christmas. This has been inspired by my dear Michigan friend Stephanie who blogs gratitude all the time. And I'm predicting that it will be really good for me. I really should be more grateful for all the amazing things that are in my life right now. It's all part of "finding joy in the journey" which has become a new mantra of mine since general conference a few weeks ago. "The world is filled with joy, but we must diligently find it."- My great grandfather said this to me in a blessing and it's been running through my head for the past little while. So here I go, diligently finding joy through gratitude.

I'm really grateful that my parents were able to come visit me in Kalamazoo this weekend. REALLY grateful. I love them both a lot, and being around them makes me see how much I am growing up to be more and more like them. I'm grateful for their hugs and love and support. And their company.

I'm grateful that my mom has finished her chemo therapy and that her tumor that was once the size of a band-aid box is no longer there at all. I wish she believed the doctors when they say she is doing well. I'm grateful she is well enough to travel. And that she is well enough to eat. And walk.

I'm grateful for Professor Uchimura telling me that I'm a lot better of a cellist than I think I am.

I'm grateful for Professor Steel telling me that I'm doing a lot better in my intro to music research class than I think I am.

(Why am I so hard on myself, shesh!)

I'm grateful for Breanna's recommendation of Qudoba's vegetarian gumbo. That stuff is incredible! I could eat it every day.

I am grateful for concerned phone calls from far away friends... and for the messages they leave since I'm retarded at answering my phone. Along this same line, I'm also grateful for new friends here in Michigan who are more of a comfort and support to me than they probably know. I'm grateful for simple smiles and conversations and lunches and orchestra music practice sessions.

I'm ever so grateful for my missionary. My best friend. My biggest fan and support and best advice giver I could ever ask for. I'm grateful for letters and emails and pictures. I'm grateful that our relationship is strong, and even that it has grown in these past 7 months. I'm grateful that he is obedient and doing his best. I'm grateful that he is on a mission, and that he is willing to sacrifice and serve.

I'm grateful for my church. For my branch president and his wife and all the wonderful branch members who make me feel loved and welcome. From the very first sunday there, I've had no doubt it's where I belong. I'm really grateful for the members who came to my first ever branch choir rehearsal... and who sang and helped and had fun. I'm grateful for my callings as choir director and relief society teacher. I am learning and growing and stretching my comfort zone in ways I could have never done otherwise.

I am grateful for my savior Jesus Christ. I am more than grateful for his atonement and that he died for me that through him I can be made whole. I am grateful for his grace that someone as perfect as him can love and forgive someone as imperfect as me... over and over again. I am grateful for the strength and comfort I receive through prayer.

I am grateful for my wonderful house that I live in. In my wonderful neighborhood in cute little Kalamazoo. I'm grateful for my time at WMU and all the opportunities that I have here.

With all these blessings in my life it's hard to not be happy. There is definitely joy in the journey, and I'm grateful for this space of internet with which I have to share it.

"Lord of all to thee I raise, this my hymn of grateful praise!"

Elder Morris speaks on Passion

Somehow, even through letters from across the country, my missionary always knows the PERFECT things to say to his girl.

(excerpt from letter on October 14, 2008)

"... Massive props on the perfect card pick out!  What do you wish for at 11:11?  I wish for you to have more happiness.  You sound way depressed.  I hate the idea of my shorty feeling unpassionate!!  I would not date someone who is bland.  You are not a bland person and refuse to accept this as a personality flaw that you have!  One of the things that I love about you the most is your passion.  Your passion for life, music, poetry, art, people, the gospel, :) and me.  (I left out food and sleep.)  You are full of passion!  Don't take Bruce's critiquing too personal.  We know you are a passionate person because of how many people love you in your life.  I love who you are, and your friends love who you are.  Don't be frustrated about music.  Ask for help.  Ask God first, then Bruce.  Don't take his advice personally though, and know that your man always loves you.  I'm so proud of you and all you do!"

Now a quote from my new favorite soundtrack, "The Last 5 Years"-

"Have I mentioned today... how lucky I am... to be in love with you?"

This is what I do!

Finally some pictures!

This is me and my politically passionate pal Desiree watching the Great VP Debate.  We played Palin Bingo and ate debate donuts. Good times.  

This is a pumpkin spice donut.  Deliciousness!  SAD NEWS!  The Kalamazoo Krispy Kreme went out of business on Monday this week.  What am I gonna do for the next debate??

While the snowflakes fell in Salt Lake City, my friends and I were driving to Lake Michigan to spend a beautiful Sunday evening at the beach.

These are my church friends who are also my wonderful neighbors.  We've got Breanna, Jana, AnnaLaura, and Lillian.  And they are standing in beautiful, warm, wave-less Lake Michigan.     

AND a full moon.  

This picture is for my USU music friends.  Check out how HUGE the practice rooms are here!  And there is a piano in every single one.  It's incredible.  For my non-music major friends... music geeks like me LIVE in these rooms.  The accommodations are important!

Aww, cello love self portrait.

This is the freakin awesome cemetery that is a 5 minute jaunt from my house.  Call me morbid, but I LOVE exploring cemeteries.  This graveyard provides me with the only exercise I seem to get these days.

This is an example of the Michigan fall foliage.

 "My my my it's a beautiful world!" -Colin Hey

"This is a tall Jamilyn picture.  Like as tall as the tree. "  - AnnaLaura Feng Shui Artz Iffland

My legs look really... thick.  But I'm wearing rain boots.  

This lovely park is across the street from my street. I love my neighborhood!

Happy Autumn Friends and Fam.  

I love you all!

And miss you most!

About Passion...

So as you know (if you read the last post), I've been doing a lot of thinking about passion lately.  Particularly how to channel my inner passion into my music by channeling it into my daily life.  

Ishtar, my hot Puerto Rican violinist friend, says that all I need to do is think about sex.  Probably not the best idea for me right now, Ishy!  Yikes.  

Pianist friend ashley helped me muster up some strong inner feelings and then after forcing me to play in my emotional state, boosted my ego by telling me I sound like Jackie Du Pre. 

I've been trying to feel emotions stronger, be more happy, get more angry, be more dedicated.  

I guess I didn't realize the negative results this experiment might have on my life.  More depressed?  More lonely?  Extremely homesick for my missionary?  In exploring my suppressed emotions, I've found some very deep ones that in my opinion, are best left alone!   

Yesterday was a dark and dismal day.  Emotional... yes.  Passionate... yes.  Productive practice, and incredible cello sound... yes!!  But seriously, I can't function on such a constant stream of passion and high emotion.  Not like that.  

Thus the need for further self revision:

Earlier to bed and earlier to rise.  I'm seeking health, wealth, wisdom, and BALANCE.  I'm still channeling passion.  But hopefully with healthier sleep habits, I'll have better coping skills.  

I'm wearing my new pumpkin-color sweater and bright yellow rain boots.  I woke up at 7 am with 8 hours of wonderful sleep.  I'm feeling strongly optimistic and ready for a fresh start.  

The Michigan leaves have chosen today as the day to change color.  The world is a beautiful place!  This is something to be passionate about.    

Self Revision

Lack of PASSION.  BLAND BLAND BLAND.  Too much TENSION.  Just SING!  Let GO!  Relax!!

Imagine me playing the Elgar cello concerto with all my might for my cello guru, Prof. Uchimura, and these are the things he's shouting at me the whole time.  I fully acknowledge and accept that these have always been major flaws in my cello playing... lack of passion, blandness, tension, etc. But the more I think about a solution to this problem, the more I think they might be innate character flaws as well.  

Perhaps I'm not really a passionate person.  Maybe I'm even bland.  I'm definitely tense.  I really SHOULD sing more, and learn to let things go.  I seriously need to relax.  

So the same as I spend time in my practice room learning to release the weight of my arm into my cello string, I've decided that I need to practice channeling passion in the more figurative practice room of life.  

And this is my self revision... passion, relaxation, singing!  

Top of the Second Quarter!

Yes it's true.  The first six months of my Elder Morris's mission are over!  I am officially at the top of the second quarter in this waiting game, and I think I'm ahead by at least 12 points.  I don't know what I mean by that.  :)  

In the most recent best letter of my life, Elder Morris sent me his MTC name tag, a SD card full of pictures, and half of an old tie.  It's a missionary tradition to burn a tie on your 6 month mark.  Sweet Elder Morris decided to share half of his tie with me so that we could both celebrate the landmark together.  It was so thoughtful of him to include me!  I love how well he knows me and how much something like that would mean to me.  It absolutely made my day.  

Waiting for a missionary really isn't so bad at all, folks!  I love writing letters, I love getting letters... I am even learning to love scrapbooking.  I appreciate having this time apart.  I know that sounds weird.  But we are both getting the opportunity to "find ourselves" on our own.  We are individually becoming more of who we want to be.  But I love being included in his life, even if he is devoted to serving the Lord on the other side of the country!  

I for sure have my lonely days where I want nothing more than to curl up in his arms and tell him all about my stresses and issues and have him calm me down and help me feel like I can manage it all.  I wouldn't mind going to a concert with him and singing our favorite lyrics at the top of our lungs.  It would sure be nice to have a hand to hold and a good night kiss sometimes.  I'd even go for a phone call now and then.  

BUT then I think about how hard he worked to get out there, and how proud I am for his willingness to serve.  I think about all the lives he is blessing and how much we are both learning from this experience.  I really am happy to be where we both are right now.  And 6 months went by FAST!  Bring on the next 18!!!

Burning of the tie!

This is my friend Breanna and me, dousing the tie in alcohol

The alcohol all burned off but the tie wouldn't light!!

So we made a hobo fire out of Jana's old italian textbook and let it burn!

This is me holding the hot ash remains of what once was the tie.  And also the remains of Jana's italian textbook under my arm.

This is me being a happy MG.  I love these shirts that Torrey had made for us.  And I love my missionary.  And I'm excited for the next year and a half! And everything that comes after that!